Are you married, but wishing your relationship was more like it was before you were married? You are not alone. When a relationship starts out, both men and women are interested in making a good impression, getting a positive response, having a good time, and increasing intimacy. The online dating relationship feels exciting, the lover appears like the perfect match, and the desire to commit to each other is high.
Following the marriage commitment, the very same things that at first made the adult single relationship so exciting are the very same things that fall away. After all, why work on making a good impression if someone has already committed their life to you? For men especially, often the highest level of intimacy they desire has already been obtained. On top of this, the things that were previously fun activities for the dating couples become routine.
When a child comes along, focus on each other tends to turn to focus on the child. Although this as first renews sharing and adds vitality, it later increases the routine, decreases available time and energy, and increases stress. Depending on the way the crisis is managed, the dateing personals couple continues to be roommates, have increasing conflict until breaking up, or redefine their marriage to allow for a positive change.
The husband, wife, or both needs to clearly discover what kind of relationship they want to have. So many couples become embroiled in trying to fix the problems that they never really stop to consider what they want. A date service relationship coach, on the other hand, will use the technique of creating a vision. Visions, desires, and goals, pull us toward them in a positive and exciting way.
An exercise that you can do now to begin changing your vision is to get a piece of paper and a pen. Write at the top of the paper, “My Dream Relationship.” Pretend you are not married. Imagine your fairy godmother grants you the wish of the contacts man or woman of your dreams. Working on these areas of common desire with new and effective methods will bring new spark into the relationship and create the potential for more lasting, positive change.
