Oh goody, my favourite subject...me..lol. If I tell the truth I may be swamped with people clamouring for my attention, so I am going to oppositely describe me.
Very reserved and quiet, no sense of humour whatsoever, really really short or really really tall...depending on how far away ur standing, hung like a flea, have no idea what to do in bed, other than sleep (I do that very well), jet black hair, brown eyes, and a ripped, muscular figure that would put a professional athlete to shame, and utterly completely blokey and straight. So now you know what I am opposite to...you figure out what I am like...lol.

I better do this properly or I'll be attracting nothing but freaks..(wonder if that would be a bad thing?)
Here goes: Men.... Please be clean shaven, preferably at least trimmed in the good parts as well. No-one cheating on their respective spouses/partners either thanks, I don't do the "discreet day meets". Someone comfortable with who they are.
Women... I personally don't give a flying f*** what ur body shape & size is, the important thing to me is your ability to laugh, not just at others but at yourself, and the comfort in your own skin. And of course, the ability to accept I may have more perfumes and body products in my bathroom cabinet than you..lol.
Couples... hell add the 2 above together.
Freaks, animals and things I have never heard of before... keep in touch, I may need you soon...lol.